"Hello Jimmy, hello Hugh. I am going to make a delicious dinner meal."
Judy Neutron begins to make a delicious dinner meal. Hugh had waited for too long to kill her. He reaches for his shotgun...but suddenly, a bullet pierces her head. She dies before Hugh can even touch the gun. The bullet falls at Hugh's feet... and he notices that it is actually a walnut.
He looks out the window. An aging Filipino man wearing bling and sunglasses has his fingers held in a position as if he had flicked something at them. This man was the assassin. He runs off. Hugh chases after him.
After chasing him through the woods for ten minutes, Hugh sees him run into a shack. High follows.
"You've got nowhere to run! Who the hell are you?"
"Welcome...to The Nutshack" he replies
The Filipino points at his crotch. He has a gold belt buckle that says "DICKMAN" on it.
"The name's Tito Dick. My friends call me 'Dickman', baby! I raised Phil and I love the ladies."
Hugh draws his gun. Tito is unfazed. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a walnut. He flicks it at Hugh, who quickly reaches up his ass and pulls out a banana. He deflects the nut, cutting it in half. Tito removes his belt, and starts whipping at Hugh with it. He dodges, but can't keep up and is hit in the arm. He falls over, and uses the blood from his wound to draw a sigil on the floor. He activates it, and a mighty duck warrior wielding a massive sword is summoned from the bowels of hell. It slashes at Tito, who quickly ducks. He seems to have been vaporized.
"Well that takes care of that" says Hugh.
He turns around, only to see that the door has disappeared. Tito Dick rises from the floor, and strangles Hugh with his belt.
"I have complete control of The Nutshack! I can merge with the floor or wall, and I can transform any part of the house! I can make doors that lead to anywhere, and I can make doors disappear!"
Before Hugh can be killed with the belt, the duck warrior uses its sword to cut it in half. Hugh shoots Tito in the face, only to realize Tito had merged with the floor and created a refrigerator in his stead. The door of the fridge is destroyed, and twenty heavy jars of dick-shaped pickles fall onto Hugh. His vision gets blurry, and he starts to black out. Tito prepares another Nut Bullet, but Hugh laughs.
"The fuck are you laughing about?" he asks
"Look at your dick"
With no buckle to protect it, Dickman's dick had been exposed. while Tito had been hiding in the wall, the duck warrior had turned itself and its sword invisible. Tito had left the wall and walked right into the invisible sword. Tito Dick's legendary dick had been cut off.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGHHHH!!!!!!! I HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOOOOOOOORRRRRRRR!!!!!"
He aims the bullet at his head. Satisfied, Hugh passes out.
Tito reattaches his dick.
"FOOLED YA NIGGA!"
He conjures live wires from the floor, stabbing them into Hugh's nipples. He then creates a bathtub around him, electrocuting him.
WINNER: TITO DICK